UKUHLUKUMEZEKA LOKUBULALANA ETHANDWENI EMPHAKATHINI WAKITHI

By Mncedisi Phuz'tshukela Khupe

Ithinte abanengi kakhulu enkundleni zokuxhumana eyodubule owesifazana abethandana laye ngemva kokwaliwa athe kwenziwa yikuthi omunye wakhe ubesethandana lomunye umuntu.Usuke wanatha umuthi wokuzibulala ezivalele emoteni yakhe lapho atholwe khona ngamapholisa abemdingela isandla sakhe kulesi sigameko.

Nxa lungekho kalukho uthando. Nxa luthe lwaphela lakhona lubuye lufane lolungakaze lubekhona. Akula muntu ofanele ahlukunyezwe loba afele ukungabikhona lokuphela kothando. Wonke umuntu, owesilisa loba owesifazana, ulelungelo elifanayo lokwenza isinqumo asithandayo lasendabeni zothando.

Kungajwayeleki kunjalo ukufa, sekuyimvama ukuzwa indaba ezifana lalezi. Loba senzeke katshana lakithi, njengezinye esengike ngahlangana lazo ekuhambeni lengizizwa ngendaba, lesi sigameko singephule umoya sangikhumbuza ukuthi kusakhona okumbalwa esesakwenza inhlalayenza empilweni zethu esidinga ukukulahla. 

Njengendaba ephathelene lemizwa, ngikhangelele ukwehlukana kwemibono kodwa ngithemba kakusoze kulenze madolo-nzima ekubaleni ngoba mina kakusoze kwangiqeda uthando ngoba ngiyazi ukuthi isigaba sivele sakhiwa ngakho ukwehlukana kwemibono.

Owesifazana obuleweyo, uSamantha Dzapata, uvaleliswa ngosizi olukhulu kunkundla zokuxhumana ikakhulu ku Twitter, ngabangane lalabo abebephila laye. Okungidabukise kakhulu zingxoxo lezithombe ezibonise ukuthi ukuhlukunyezwa kwakhe bekungasonto entsha. 

Isikhalazo sami sakuqala siqonde kubo dadewethu labanawami abangamantombazana. Kwezinye izithombe, umufi ubebonakala evuvukile emanxebanxeba ngokutshaywa. Kambe bantwana bakithi lisuka likhangeleleni noma lithenjiswe liphi izulu lomhlaba ukuze lihlalele isihluku esingaka?. Udlame ethandweni alwenzeki ngephutha njalo asikho lasinye isizatho esenza kulunge ukuthi udlame lube yisisombululo.

Akukhethelekile ukuthi usaqonyiswa ntombi noma nguwe mama ususenziwa yibuhlobo phakathi kwemindeni emibili kumbe ingane, omunye wakho engaphakamisa isandla loba akwethusele nje ngendlela eqinisekileyo, baleka lempilo yakho usenelisa. Ungalifisi lingasekho lelothuba usuphefumula okokucima ngenxa yokubekezelela udlame. Banengi bebekezela, ngobunengi babo basemathuneni, ngoba leyo ndlela iya lapho.

Kungehlise isithunzi njengowesilisa ukuthi ngemva kwesihluku esingaka, umsolwa uTafadzwa Murengwa utshiye umlayezo olandisa izizatho zakhe ngethemba lokudatshukelwa ngumphakathi. Angingathathwa kubi, kodwa asikho isizatho esigeza udlame ethandweni. Kwezinengi azame ukuzethula, ngizithole zilihlazo ezokuthi yinotho yakhe ebisondla lo ambuleleyo lokuthi nguye obemelaphisa ngemali enengi ngemva kokumtshaya. Kangisoze ngikhulume ngale eyokumelaphisa ngoba nje, ngenhlonipho yonke, iyenyanyisa.

Eyokusebenza kwenotho ethandweni ke yona ngiyikhangele kabili. Kubafowethu ngithi imali yethu esiyisebenzisa ethandweni ayiqinisekisi ukuthi uthando selungolwaphakade. Laba ababuleleneyo bebeyidla, besidla kuhle endaweni eziphakemeyo kodwa luphelile. Kungaba yisipho noma ukusizana ngezidingo, imali ayimenzi untandokayiphikiswa umuntu ethandweni. Imali esuke isebenza ethandweni kakukhangelelwanga ukuthi ibe yisikwelede or ibophele omunye kusasa. Nxa kwehlule, umuntu uyakuthatha nje njengomzamo ongaphumelelanga kahle aqhubekele phambili.

Owesibili umlandu ngiwutshiyela odadewethu ethandweni, omama, obabakazi kanye labazali ekondleni. Kungabasiza odade ukungavumi ukwenziwa santo lokuphathiswa okwezinto zokusuthisa inkanuko zabesilisa. Loba bengabe bengalakho okunengi bengenza imizamo yokungavumeli ukuhlalahlala baphiwe imali ethandweni kungela sidingo. Lezi mali zandise ukudala intukuthelo nxa uthando lungasekho.

Abanye abesifazana abahlanganisela omama, obabakazi kanye labodadewabo babazithola kulezi zinkinga labo kuqakathekile ukuthi babasekele okuqinileyo.  Kumele baqinisekise imfundiso emajaheni asakhulayo ukuthi induku kayiwakhi umuzi. Babuye baqinisekise ukuthi amantombazane akhula efundiswa ukuzimela, ukuzihlonipha, ukuziqhenya, abe lesithunzi sawo wodwa, hatshi ukusithola ngokuba lowesilisa eduze. Ukungeyami kwabesilisa empilweni kuzehlisa isidingo sabo sokubekezela lanxa sebehlukunyezwa ebudlelwaneni.

Ngilusizi ngomphakathi. Ngilusizi ngomphakathi obuphila lo Tafadzwa lo Samantha. Ngibona umphakathi ofana nje lowakithi. Ofukamela izenzo ezimbi, uzifuye lazo ziqhubeke zimemetheka kuze kufike kuzinga lokuthi amalangabi akhona awasacitsheki.